FYI – 1/19/17

Hey everyone. 

I am on so many different medications now. Also, I start my next round of chemo soon. So I’m gonna be off the site for a while. If you need to reach me, you know how. 

So many medications…

Gonna do a video because I don’t feel like typing. 
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Not a fun time

Sunday I was taking a shower and my skin literally peeled off in sheets. Not peeled like a sunburn. No…peeled like onion skin. So of course I ended up in the ER. 

We’ve been here 8 hours now and still waiting on a room. There are a lot of people that I’ve heard coming in that seem to have the flu based on what they’re describing. Why are you coming to the ER for the flu??? Go to a pharmacy and get some pills man!!

.…………….

So now it is 100pm on Monday. We got to the ER at about 400pm yesterday. That should give you an idea of how things went. 

The ER took FOREVER to take me back. When they did, everyone and their best friend had to see what I was taking about. My skin on my butt is peeling off. I get that is an interesting thing for people in medicine.  But I dropped my pants so many times I stopped counting. And I was in lots of pain. The ER only did bloodwork and decided it is an infection of some kind. They sent me to GYN just to be sure because I just had a biopsy done in GYN on Friday. (FYI: the Biopsy in GYN is to make sure there’s nothing going on with my gemale body parts. The last thing I need is a Pap smear to come back wrong so we did the Biopsy instead.)

GYN took a look and took swabs. The Biopsy site is healing fine but there is some raw areas near the Biopsy site and of course all the way where the skin is peeling. Just so you know, the skin is peeling about 1/2 way up my buttcrack. So they called in a dermatologist to be sure. 

Dermatologist checked me out and agreed with GYN that I’m having an allergic reaction to something they used to clean the area before the Biopsy. But of course someone extra had to come see it too. 

In the end, I got ointments for the peeled skin. And I have to take pain meds as needed. 

Not my idea of a fun time and now I’m exhausted. I haven’t been asleep since 800am yesterday except for some little naps overnight. I think I got about 2 hours total in the last 29. 

I was lucky enough to have a wonderful friend go with me and wait with me. I just can’t believe how blessed I am to have people willing and able to do that for me. 

Anyway, I’m headed to get a nap. Peace out. 

Done with radiation!!

Today was my last day of radiation. They gave me a little certificate and everything! (You can see it in the picture.) I’m so glad that is done. The people there were great but I feel like I have a sunburn on my phantom breast now. So no more superpower enhancements for me. 

I also included pictures of what day one, day two, day nine and today (day 15) look like. My skin looks absolutely horrible. It really does look like I have a massive sunburn! It is itchy and I don’t like it. I have to still use the special lotion for a couple weeks and then I can go to cocoa butter plus vitamin E. I’ll probably start looking at options for some kind of healing lotion, but I don’t know yet.

Anyway, so that chapter is done. Chemo pills start on 1/25. 

Oncology Follow up

Got to see the Oncology team today. Turns out I don’t qualify for the study they wanted me in, which is ok. But that didn’t stop the not ok news. 

As we all know, I had my ovaries removed last month mainly so the estrogen production would get down to almost nothing. I will still produce some estrogen in my adrenal glands and fat cells. So we are going to put me on a hormone blocker for that. Great…more hot flashes. I had more hot flashes per day while on hormone therapy than I have had per day since my ovary removal. But I guess I need it so those will start out as a shot every 2 weeks then after 3 shots go to monthly. Luckily, I can get them going at the same time as my bone injection. If you want to look it up, it’s called Fulvestrant. 

The other not so good news it they want to put me on a chemo pill. 😢 I will take this pill once a day starting on Jan 25. We don’t know how long yet cause we have to monitor the places the cancer spread to – my lungs, sternum and arm. The modules in those places haven’t grown (which is good) but they haven’t shrunk either. I got told I should not have the severe effects I did with chemo before but I will have some blood count changes – mainly in platelets. For those of you who don’t know, they are they main factor in clotting. So if I get cut or scratched or something and start to bleed, it could be a big problem depending on the size of the wound. I also will probably have some fatigue with this but not as bad as before. This drug is called Ibrance if you want to look it up. I’ll still have to avoid illness because it is chemo after all. 

I know it’s not the same as the chemo from before but it is still chemo and I don’t like it. I want to hear the word “remission”. Yeah, it’s too soon…I know. But if I can’t hear remission can I at least not hear “more chemo”? I know this pill is a way to not have me take the injection kind but I just don’t want chemo at all. I want to be done. 

So as far as I’m concerned today is crap. Not as bad as others but still not good. 

Radiation Day 8

I have 7 more treatments to go so basically I’m half way done. 😊 I’ve been asked what it looks and feels like. Well the treatment itself doesn’t hurt. But my skin feels/looks like I have a sunburn and itches. I have a lotion I put on and it helps with long-teen damage, but it’s not a complete fix for current irritation. 

Anyway, here is a few pictures so you can compare. They are Day 1,2 & 8. You can see how much more red and irritated the skin is now. (You might have to zoom in – sorry.)  I’m told this will heal, but for now it is what it is. 

Happy New Year

Not much to say really. So here..
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Radiation continues

I haven’t posted much since Christmas. Mostly cause there’s not much going on. Still doing radiation and waiting to see how it goes. 

New Year’s Eve is tomorrow. Not sure how I feel about the new year starting off this way yet. I guess I’ll find out. 

Anyway, just popped in to let you know how I’m doing. Till next time….

Merry Christmas 2016

This is a very different Christmas for me. I got to face a battle for life this year. I’m still facing it. Everyday I have to tell myself to try again. I’ve never been one to assume I have another day, but this year I had to fight to have that day. And I had to dig deep to fight that fight many times. 

I know the reason for the season. No matter what you do or do not believe, I know what I believe and I hold true to it. Jesus wasn’t really born in the Winter. I know that. He was probably born in the Summer or early Fall. This time of year was chosen as the day to celebrate His birth and it stuck. But that’s a history lesson for another time. For me, Jesus being born is the main reason for the celebration – but it has never been the ONLY reason. It has also been about family, love and the happiness that I feel when I see my loved ones smile. 

This year, there is more. A lot more. I’m here. I’m fighting a battle every day, but I’m here. I have marks on my body now that will never go away to remind me every day that I got diagnosed with cancer. In a matter of 2 months (almost to the day!) I had 2 major surgeries that alter the biology of what makes me a woman. And I’ve had to love myself through it all. 

Now for the shocker: I’m not any more or less grateful for being able to celebrate this day than I have been any other year. Why should I be? Like I said, I’ve never been one to assume I have another day. So the present called “time” is not a new one for me. What I am grateful for is all the people who stood by me and showed me the love I needed to grab that next day. Don’t get me wrong, I knew people cared and loved me and cherished the relationship they have with me. But I never expected the devotion I have been shown. I don’t know why I never thought about that devotion. It’s something I show without thinking and something lots of people show me in their own ways. But the amount of devotion I needed these last six months was astounding. The amazing thing is, I never had one chance to feel like I had no one to help. In fact, sometimes I had more than one someones to help. 

I’ve been allowed to scream, be angry, be sad, cry to the point of blubbering, cuddle, push away without consequences, blame, be weak, be strong, laugh, be scared, be brave – basically be whatever I needed to be in the moment without having to worry about the other person’s feelings or thoughts. That’s VERY unnatural for me. But it’s what I needed and people let me have it. Now that’s devotion and that’s love. 

I’m not gonna pretend I noticed every single time people hid their tears or their worried expressions from me. Honestly, I wouldn’t know where to start. What I can do is let them pretend because in that act, they find strength. I’m not going to take that away from anyone. 

Jesus died so I could live in Heaven. Thank you, Jesus. But here on earth this year, I faced death and weakness with my own Army of Angles. I’m sure God was looking out for me. But I need to thank the humans involved. 

Thank you to everyone who has heard me, held me, held my hand, stayed with me, took care of me, comforted me, checked on me, done errands for me, babysat for me, and whatever else that I’m not thinking of right now. Sincerely – thank you. 

But I need to point out one persona in particular: Shawnda. My best friend is nothing less than the best. She is an amazing person on a regular basis. (And not just because she’s my best friend – LOL!) She is also a very emotion-based person. She can handle life and stress and hard times, but she feels the same pain others do. Usually, I’m the one who holds her hand and lets her express her fears and sadness. But I couldn’t do that through this. I am the rock but in all this I crumbled. She gathered up those pieces and put them back together. No, let me correct that: she gathered up those pieces and LOVED them back together. She held me to a standard of acceptance for what I was fighting that meant I didn’t have to pretend I was ok. She let me be vulnerable and made me feel safe in that vulnerability. How amazing is that???? 

Shawnda is my best friend and has been for 26 years. We have our fights – even during this time. Because we are honest with each other, we know that when it matters the anger goes away. But she is more than my BFF – she is my sister. She is my confidant. She is my goofy partner. She is my pillow to scream in. She is – and always will be – MY Shawnda. And I love her more than I can ever express. Thank you Shawnda. 

I said it before – Jesus is the main reason for the season. But there is more to it. These last 6 months have been more than hell. They’ve been the Devil’s party on my body, mind and heart. But I have friendship, devotion, compassion and love to fight back with. That’s my earthly reason for the season this year. And I am proud to have it. 

Bone Injection & Radiation

Had my 1st bone injection today. It was basically a little shot into the fat in my arm. It doesn’t hurt right now or anything. I feel a little tired but that might also be from the radiation treatment #3 today. Who knows Anyway….I will get these once a month for who knows how long. While I was there a great friend kept me entertained with pirate speak. The nurse asked me why I was laughing and when I told her she said that was the best thing she’d seen all morning. It was freaking AWESOME!!

So onto my radiation: my skin looks red and bruised. I don’t like it. It itches some, too. I have the lotion my Radiology Doc told me to use but it doesn’t stop these symptoms completely. Funny thing about this stuff – doc orders are to NOT wear a bra. Yeah – you read that right. That’s not a big deal for me but I still find it funny. I can wear a camisole or loose sports bra if needed but I’m supposed to stay away from it as much as possible. Docs orders to go braless….ha ha ha

Oh yeah – I posted this in Facebook but for my blog followers I thought you might want to know also: I got my final grades for this semester. My 1st semester of Master’s classes while fighting cancer – 2 A’s & 1 B!! I am so proud of myself!! Now onto the next semester. 😊